


creeper, awww man

by orphan_account



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Developing Relationship, Diamond penis, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Minecraft, Panic Attacks, Short One Shot, Supportive Friend Gang, big ass treehouses, hnhghg, no beta we die like men, someone get this man a gotdamn diamond, tagging is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-07-09 03:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19880758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: spoiler: vanoss is merciless.





	creeper, awww man

**Author's Note:**

> whatever this is, mainly just pokin at delirious and vanoss. i encourage seeing this is a romantic light but i don't condone forcing any relationship between actual vanoss and delirious.  
> shit gets fucked, mental illness aint a joke and i hope it doesnt come off like that. now git.
> 
> edit: forgot, inspiration from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wiEM0s4aCQ (CUCO - Lover Is a Day) not a songfic but it's a real nice song, fits story

It was after the day's recording that it happened. The same ordeal as any other, popping hard ones for stairs, terraforming days work of building, making Brian shed tears of anger, really nothing to cause any tension. 

_**Brain** : EVAN YOU FUFKCING WET SPONGE _

_**BasicallyIdoWrk** : oh boy_

_**407** : I got chinese, ordered takeout in advance but they forgot the sauss_

_Feels bad man_

_And wtf's going on_

_**H2ODeli:** lol vanoss is in danger _

_VanossBigGay is typing..._ (Evan grinned, far more amused than insulted).

_**VanossBigGay** : ok who changed my name :hyper_thonk:_

_and nahhh dangers my middle name_

_**Brain** : ME _

_YOU DESTROYED MY SHIT YOU ABSOLUTE CRETIN_

_I WORKED ON THAT STATUE FOR HOURS AND YOU KNEW THAT_

_**BasicallyIdoWrk** : ngl it was a shitty statue man_

_**Brain** : BUT IT WAS MINEEE_

_DEDICATED TO HOMER_

_I THOUGHT YOU WOULD FUCKIN APPRECIATE MY ART_

Alright, he'd caused some minor chat-burst but it shouldn't have been enough.

It began subtly with sweaty palms. No worry, it was okay. Then a pounding heart threatening to pierce through his chest. No sweat. Racing thoughts. It was... fine. But the pooling of dread forming in his gut-

_**VanossBigGay** : no_

_u made slander propaganda_

_homers badonker isnt that small_

_i know u beech_

_**WILDCAT** : shut up bitch im having sex _

_**Nogla** : wot did i come back to _

_**407:** Why would you tell us_

_**BasicallyIdoWrk** : but who you fuckin_

_**BigJiggly** : oh god oh fuck _

_**WILDCAT** : nogla's mom_

_**407:** Youre fucking a granny?_

_**Brain**_ : _i hate all of you_

_**H2ODeli:** oh cmon u gotta give the old ladies love too XD_

_**Nogla:** EXCUSE ME _

_Several people are typing..._

They're. Going. To. Leave.

They weren't though, they liked being around him.

For views. Views. Likes. You are nothing but trash. You suck. You're too harsh. They aren't joking. You're horrible. You're so desperate to be funny that you harm everyone else. Evan could barely stand, let alone breathe but he had to let his thoughts take its toll - no third parties, no casualties.

Shaky legs made way for the bathroom and in panic slammed the door open. That would definitely leave damage but it didn't matter. He needed this feeling to stop and clutching the rim of his toilet, gasping for air, vomiting, remedied the loathing enough.

Gagging at his reflection, all he could muster to the man staring back were insults, full of seething hatred "fuck you retard, fuck you retard, fuck you retard, fuck- retarded tantrum is all you're doing" Tears wracked his reflection. He was having another panic attack, the fourth in a week now.

He'd seen counseling for this before when he was 14. A simpler time in his life but this, this desperate feeling had never left him growing up. He was confident - hell, still was but something terrible in him grew with the years. Evan slumped against the toilet to stare at a hanging frame neatly placed above the towel holder; the young boy piggybacking his father wearing his favorite hockey jersey, taken at the courtesy of his mother.

After the game, he'd gone into a sobbing frenzy after learning his parent had spent clean both of their checks to afford the trip. He wouldn't leave the bedroom for days, rolled up in the corner unable to stare at anyone without guilt. He was always like this, but the incident had taken the cake. 

God bless his worried parents, they checked him in with a psychologist three days later to find Evan had a panic disorder and depression. His family, in his eyes, never felt the same after that and it was his fault. He ruined everything then and by the looks of it, would ruin everything now. 

He had to stop it, he couldn't breathe. Everything had built up and now he was going to die. Everything hurts and he was going to die in vain. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt- Evan suddenly turned his head towards the open bathroom door.

There was an incoming call in Discord. He could hear the familiar chime and while he was far from ready to talk to anyone Evan had a feeling it'd gone ringing for too long. The guilt began to fester again. He had to get up, and quickly.

Breathing heavily, he stumbled back to his PC and accepted the Discord call without much thought.

"Hey, big man" Delirious's voice clear as day, "you busy?" 

"Nah, I'm here." He sniffed back snot discreetly as he spoke. "If this is about chat sorry for not responding to you guys. Was doing some things."

"You're okay, you don't needa apologize. Everyone thought you died or somethin', the guys got worried but gonna tell 'em you're aight. But uhh just wanna ask if you wanna play Minecwaft with wittle ol' me? You free?" Evan could almost hear the fucker grinning. Even with his anxiety breathing down his throat, he refused to back down from time well spent."Fuck it, why not."

\------

"As you can see, I made Terroriser get custom colored armor mods. Very good, very badass, I made a red one for you on our journey. WE WILL MINE ALL THE DIAMONDSSS."

He deadpanned. "This is burgundy." 

"SHADDUP" Delirious's character wielded his sword and hit Vanoss with a mighty wack, effectively causing both dumbasses to go into a homicidal frenzy. They would die 24 times in front of their next destination bludgeoning each other with swords.

But alas, the boys went into the caves with a goal in mind other than killing themselves: find some gotdamn diamonds. Not that they didn't have any, but it wasn't enough to build a diamond penis and no one was willing to give spares.

"Fuck off," Evan swiped his sword at a hopping spider from above before running back to his mining-made hallway. They were fucking around in the mines and yapping about possible additions to the server for the most part until Delirious broke the pattern of banter.

"Hey Evan?"

"Mmm?" Evan slouched in his chair but continued mining iron across from Delirious. 

"About early today. I don't wanna be in your business all the time but you were breathing really loudly and you sounded like you were shaking in your chair. That shit spooked me," he chuckled nervously before continuing, "Everything doing okay? Be honest with me."

Evan sighed, pulling his hand away from the mouse. He could hear Delirious stop, too. Absolute silence in-game other than the eerie wail of the music. 

"I'm alright now, you caught me in a bad place, I wasn't thinking right. I'm sorry man, I'm just..."

"I'm sorry," the man was audibly nervous. He couldn't continue with the looming threat of crying in front of Delirious again. He couldn't keep heaping his problems onto one of his best friends.

"Vanoss, hey. I asked you myself cuz I care about 'chu," Delirious slurred heavily in what Vanoss understood as an attempt to make him laugh.

With the little energy he had for the day, he snorted quietly. The cute voice would always work on him. "I know but I expect you to get tired of me. Christ, I don't deserve you."

"And I don't deserve you. But here we are." Evan groaned half-jokingly, "Cheesy bastard."

"You like it though or nah?," Delirious cracked up through the call, things were back in session.

"Shhh, I do."

A triumphant "yessss" resonated through his headphones and chatter continued as it normally would.

\------

Evan isn't sure at all how long they spent in that cave - looking offscreen to his office window, no light seized his sight. It was completely dark out but he couldn't complain, the night owl was able to focus tonight after all. "Okay okay okay, I think this is enough. More than 200 diamonds from the trip and you had like what? How much do you have," Delirious mumbled under his breath. 

Evan was hanging out at the top of his treehouse rummaging through his collection of ender chests, mostly stacked to the brim with junk and stolen diamonds from Nogla here and there. "Hmmm, about 130. Would be 200 but Nogla stole the diamonds I stole from him." An epic intake of breath, "Yet we, the Banana Boys, have enough to create a mega dong to challenge even my OWN." 

"Your dick is like 2 centimeters," Delirious provided jeeringly as he rode in on the cart. "I've seent it."Evan was too exhausted to respond but let the older man talk freely as the night passed on.

Still, maybe hours later, there they were on the treehouse staring down at the world beneath them and Evan had to admit, it'd been a pretty looker. They were near the edge now and with both of their characters facing each other.

"We should probably get to bed, huh? You're probably tired of me talkin', haha." Delirious himself sounded drained, Sleepylirious was imminent. 

"No no, not you man. I'm still listening, just been thinking."

"Whatcha thinking about?"

Evan stared at the pixellated hockey mask on the screen and sighed. "You. Sometimes I'm scared you'll leave me if I keep being like this. Panic-y and shit."

"Hey trust me, I won't. You've been with me when things suck, I'mma be right here next to you too. I love ya, I want you to remember that. I'm right here."  
His hands trembled, struggling to grip on his mouse, not out of nerves but something lighter. Wasn't nervous, no, wasn't scared. He was tired for one- but calm too, calm could have been the right word.

"I love you, too."

They were here together, two grown men on top of a shitty treehouse stupidly high up watching the night sky transition into the dawn. Things would be okay.

Evan chuckled, for only one thing had to be done. He violently spammed the crouch button before punching Delirious off the roof to plummet to his death.

"Gon' kill you now."

Through a fit of giggles, Jonathan could only wheeze out a faint "I'mma get you back for that" before getting fucking owned. 


End file.
